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Management-speak

I was amused to read on the BBC’s College of Journalism Blog that their Baghdad office is compiling a lexicon of management-speak to help the local employees understand e-mails being sent through from London.  Some of their examples included the following…

rolling out – means neither more nor less than ‘introducing’, but with greater accompanying noise

best practice – sometimes, but not always, a synonym for ‘common sense’

going forward – meaning ‘in future’

emerging truth – a euphemism for reporting unsubstantiated rumour in case it turns out to be true

and, my favourite…

focused conversation – a bollocking, delivered with a thin smile over a cappuccino

All this reminded me of my experiences of one of the major UK consultancies at a client I was working with.  These consultants had their own set of management-speak and, unknown to them, the client was laughing at them every time they came out with this rubbish.  Some of their examples included…

deck – a set of PowerPoint slides, usually preceding “death by PowerPoint”

socialise – as in “socialise this deck”; meaning circulate these slides and get people’s opinions

in your space – something for you to do

reach out – ask

onboarding – staff induction

on point – be ready

A whole host of others weren’t even worth translating…

in a good place, glide-path, sighted on that, traction, face-off, view from the bridge, H2

Answers on a postcard to the usual address!  Enjoy.

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